I picked up Amber Benson’s 2009 paperback release, Death’s Daughter, from the library because A)I enjoyed her as Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and B)I loved her Ghosts of Albion books co-authored with Christopher Golden. Unfortunately (and you know it can’t be good when I start a sentence with that), Death’s Daughter disappointed mightily. Just from a story structure and writing standpoint, it became clear that while Benson is a good “idea person,” her execution is off. It seems Golden did much of the heavy lifting in that department during their collaboration.

The story itself is pretty standard and derivative, given the wealth of paranormal/urban fantasy saturating the market these days. Calliope Reaper-Jones, home & garden company employee, gets pulled back into the complex world of Death, Inc when her father, the current Grim Reaper, and his board members are kidnapped. Wackiness ensues.

And maybe I wouldn’t be so turned off to the book if said wackiness didn’t involve borrowing from Hindu mythology. It’s not that I mind the cribbing, per se. Christopher Pike did it for his Last Vampire series and I loved that. It’s how Benson chose to play fast and loose with the characterization of some Hindu figures — primarily Kali. She’s described as a temperamental sari-wearing young woman who constantly calls Calliope “White Girl.” Um…really? No. 1. If Benson had chosen to have her use Hindi and dub Callie “memsahib” or “sahiba” it would’ve made much more sense. No. 2. Kali isn’t exactly your bitchtastic high school mean girl. Out of all the goddesses in the pantheon, she’s the least likely to fit into that slot that Benson placed her in. It really rubbed me the wrong way. And tangentially, why would you pick a goddess whose name is so close to your heroine’s? 

The book just didn’t “get there.” There’s too much packed into too few pages, not enough actual character development —  Callie is so vapid I couldn’t even empathize with her — and what there is of a love interest plot was very convoluted. Of course, it was also the clear set-up for a series. Yep, that’s right, we get more. If Kali returns in the sequel, remind me not to have alcohol handy, because I’d be too tempted to do shots every time she calls Callie something other than her name.

Thankfully, I cleansed my literary palate by reading Saving Francesca, by Melina Marchetta. Now that was a worthwhile read, with a fully developed heroine!

Five years ago, on Nov. 6, I came here with three suitcases and a chest tight with anxiety. Just a small town girl (living in a lonely world, but I didn’t take the midnight train going anywhere) in the big, bad city, ready to tackle a job at Soap Opera Weekly and live some place where I basically knew no one.

I can’t believe it’s been that long already. In some ways, I feel like it was just yesterday that I was walking into my first NYC apartment — that I’d procured sight unseen — sleeping on the floor because I didn’t have a bed yet. And in other ways, I know I’ve changed irrevocably.

I am not the same girl who came here…the one who pretty much hid out in her Queens neighborhood for months, and took shelter between her cubicle walls at work. I remember bursting into tears when my flight home for Christmas got canceled because a severe snowstorm closed the airports. I sat in my cube, shaking, actually unable to believe I was that upset. I’d only been here a month and a half! I ended up spending the holiday weeks split between work and home…where I finally bought a TV and DVD player to get me through the hours.

If you ask my colleagues, they won’t even remember how quiet I was, how meek, because I’m such a freakin’ loudmouth now. The city utterly overwhelmed me back then. The subway lines, the tiny, sketchy grocery stores, and the noise. My goodness, the rattle of the 7 train going by overhead, the cars whizzing by on the street…it was such a change from Ohio. Now it’s nothing. The blaring of fire engines, the bus, the reggaeton. I’m used to it all. I thrive on the lights and the life of this vibrant city. And, yes, I can hop a midnight train going almost anywhere.

I’ve learned a lot about who I am, about what I’m capable of accomplishing. I wonder what lessons the next five years will bring.

I hope that all loving couples will hold each other in a kind of tender reverence, will honor love in all its forms, because love will not be denied just because someone thinks you don’t have a right to it, and those who have the courage to risk their love never lose. Even when they feel betrayed and lost, even when it feels futile, love has a way of reigniting and reanimating our lives, of surfacing at a time when we least expect it, especially in people who only needed a chance to show you you could shine. Love is our pulse, our breath, and no matter who you find yourselves in love with, it’s always a gift, so cherish and celebrate your love as couples and as partners for life. 

The Nov. 2 episode of OLTL had its ups and downs, just like any other, but it also had a really beautiful message at the core. I love that Andrew gave voice to that message: that true partnership is about love and is a right no one should be denied. It was one of those speeches that made me want to declare my love to the scriptwriter, and I love when that happens. I love when someone writes something so resonant that it wraps around my heart, squeezes, and makes me want to bake them cookies or send them a gift basket.

“Love is our pulse, our breath.” Nowhere was that more obvious than in Dorian’s wide, dark eyes, so filled with nervous desperation and the hope that David would show up. And in Kyle and Fish’s faces, when Kyle broke away from Nick and asked Fish if they still had a chance. The show got it right. The joy, the heartbreak, it’s all universal. Gay people don’t do it any differently than straight people, and more often than not, everyone makes the same exact mistakes.

I’m not saying that OLTL’s understanding of the concept is consistent or perfect — lord knows, the fact that a sociopathic rapist has an equal right to love is a major head-scratcher for me — but in handling both David and Dorian and Kyle and Fish’s matters of the heart, I feel they cut to the soul of the issue: the sanctity of marriage comes from entering into it with real love. Nothing more, nothing less.

Liz Carlyle’s 2008 release Never Deceive a Duke, leaves me with the same conundrum as Wicked All Day did: I can’t figure out what the title has to do with anything. Yes, there is a duke, but who’s doing the deceiving? Not that I’m necessarily in favor of titles that tell you exactly what’s going on. If it were a standard Harlequin category romance, it would probably be called The Jewish Duke’s Widowed Secret Lover or something.

Yes, you read that right: Gabriel Gareth Lloyd, the hero of a historical romance, is Jewish. For that alone, I picked up the book, because there is a dearth of historical romance featuring anybody but your standard Christian rakes (and the half-Indian, half-Gypsy “exotic” rakes, of course). The story didn’t disappoint at all…even if the set-up reminded me a little of Carlyle’s A Woman Scorned.

Gareth Lloyd has worked with Neville Shipping for years, shutting his dark past away, but then his cousin, the Duke of Warneham, dies under suspicious circumstances. With four wives under the duke’s belt and no children, the only person left to inherit the title and the estates is Gareth. When he begrudgingly takes on the responsibility, he meets the duchess Antonia, a fragile 26-year-old, whom everyone suspects may have killed her much older husband.

Never Deceive a Duke is about reckoning with grief, about reconciling one’s past, and having the courage to move on. And Gareth’s Jewish heritage — his father was disowned for marrying Ruth and after their deaths, Gareth was raised by her parents — is a key part of that theme. I loved when he explained the concept of shiva to Antonia, assuring her that there is no shame in giving mourning its due. Despite being brought up by the Gottfrieds, at least until terrible tragedies struck and changed his life forever, Gareth is more or less raised Christian. Or at least secular. Which makes sense, given the era. His mother wanted him to be able to conform to his father’s world. But as Gareth tells Antonia, in his heart he’s absolutely Jewish. And the reader gets glimpses of that in the form of flashbacks to a wee Gabriel with his “Bubbe” and “Zayde.”

It’s a great concept, and a wonderful way to diversify the romantic historical canvas. Speaking of diversification, there is also the inclusion of Carlyle’s recurring character, George Kemble. International man of mystery, interior decorator, valet…is there anything he can’t do? A particular scene between Gareth, Kemble and Rothewell (the hero of Never Romance a Rake) had me laughing out loud on the subway. Kemble’s sexuality is not explicitly stated in this book, but he’s definitely gay (which I confirmed upon reading an earlier Carlyle work, The Devil To Pay). And I appreciated that Carlyle draws no link between that and some of the horrors* Gareth experienced as a youth. Too many romance authors use homosexuality as a villainous device that goes hand-in-hand with child abuse. It’s despicable and irresponsible.

Carlyle’s Never Deceive a Duke is anything but that. And with both Gareth and Kemble, she reboots the idea of what a romance novel hero “should be.” Here’s hoping more authors follow her lead. 

*Just a warning that, yes, this book does discuss issues of rape in pretty stark terms, so steer clear if you’re triggered by such things.

I was watching As the World Turns today, and I kept flipping over to One Life to Live during the commercials to get hits like a crack addict needing a fix. And, well, I missed a lot, so I rewatched the big, gay wedding tonight (I love that absolutely everybody, in Llanview and offscreen, is calling it that).

Téa implying the awesome Ross Rayburn is dangerous (gee, we know where this is going) and the Mannings as the Fantastic Four aside (Todd, I know Reed Richards, and you, sir, are no Reed Richards), I was really entertained. So much character-based work, so many gems in terms of dialogue. And, no, I’m not just talking about Kyle and Fish. Other aspects were really wonderful as well. The pair-up of David and Destiny and their quest to rescue Matthew is genius. Tuc Watkins brings the best out in young Shenell Edmonds; they’re hilarious together and the bond really allows David to show his gentle side. Having David reflect on his relationship with Dorian (while flying coach — gasp!) as Dorian did much the same amidst the cacophony of the mass wedding was perfect. Then there is the power pairing of Bo and Nora. Robert S. Woods and Hillary B. Smith are still magic together. How great was Nora trying to rationalize their kisses while Bo called her “Red,” and ultimately confessed he still loves her? (I confess, I may have gotten a little weak-kneed, Mr. Woods. Well played.)

Even the teens, who I have no real investment in, in were fabulous. Unlike their PSA-style discussion of Big Gay Issues of a few days ago, their scenes today were sweet and organic. I cracked up when Markko and Cole awkwardly announced they love each other and then a beaming Langston and Starr joined them.

Langston: I’ve always wanted to be Mrs. Starr Manning.
Starr: Oh, honey, you didn’t tell me you were taking my name!

And, yes, now is when I talk about Fish. I thought his fit  a few weeks back with Ross in the Llanview PD squad room was eyebrow-raising, but his outburst today beats all. Sure it may have been a tad bit over-the-top, but Fish has about 25 years of repressing these emotions to make up for. And they all came pouring forth as he outed himself to everyone and blasted the protesters for their bigotry. Scott Evans sold it so well. A beautiful companion to Fish’s tirade was Kyle in the background, Brett Claywell’s face speaking volumes, as he restlessly played with the rabbit’s foot Roxy had given him for luck.

It was an hour full of big moments and little moments…all of which added up to one really effective episode.

I don’t know if this means I’m perversely ornery or what, but when a canon tells me that a character is root-worthy, to the point of slanting stories to show how sympathetic or wonderful or favored they are, I inevitably run screaming in the opposite direction. And sometimes, I even start rooting for whoever their enemy is. That’s not to say that any time a TV show has a fair-haired boy I’m against them…it’s just when the character is being insufferably painted as perfect and right. Nobody is perfect, not even if canon deems it so!

Case in point, Alles Was Zahlt’s Stella Coretti. I just think she’s such a pompous snot. Sure, Jenny schemed against her and pushed Lars off the wagon, but there’s something infinitely more human about Jenny, because for all her scheming, not only does she have faults but she’s allowed to acknowledge them. Stella, who is now keeping a secret of her own (that she has diabetes), still acts like she can sit in judgment of everyone. (Okay, more specifically Marian, whom I adore.) Then there’s One Life to Live’s Gigi and Rex, whom the show positioned as a root-for couple: soulmates, brought together again after years and years apart, blah bliddy blah. But good lord they’re prigs. And to have to say that about Rex is especially disturbing. Remember when he was interesting? When he was as dirty as they come? I’ve started cheering for Kim, Stacy and, by extension Schuyler, to take them down! Of course, that ultimately means sticking poor Sky with Gigi and I don’t know that he deserves that. (Rex, however, totally has the karmic payback of being stuck with Stacy coming to him.)

Probably the most significant case of me vs. whoever the show wants me to side with is General Hospital’s Sonny and Jason. No, they’re not good and pure and right…but they’re good and pure and right mobsters — which, in and of itself, is ridiculous. They supposedly don’t traffic in drugs or hookers. What it is they actually do (how does the money they launder get so darn filthy?) has never been clarified. But darn it, they’re the heroes of Port Charles, keeping it safe from…from…uh, other criminals. Yeah, it’s kind of insane. So you know what? I loved Faith, I loved Jerry, and I love whoever the heck James Franco is playing, just on the principle that their raison d’etre is to make trouble for Team Sason.

A little demented? Sure. But much like Jenny or Kim or Faith Rosco, I’ve never claimed to be anything else!

When you’re talking about some of the most romantic movie sequences of all time, everyone has things that instantly come to mind. All you have to say to a fan of recent Bollywood movies is “the gazebo scene,” and they automatically know what you’re talking about: 1998’s Kuch Kuch Hota Hai; Rahul and Anjali share a dance to no music, until the tension becomes so heightened that the spell doesn’t break until Anjali sees her engagement ring on her finger and must tear herself away and bolt into the rain. It’s such a memorable moment that Tarun Mansukhani paid homage to it in 2008’s Dostana, having Kunal recreate the gazebo dance in order to woo Neha. I can safely that if any guy ever did that for me, I’d be a goner.

James Cameron’s 1984 classic Terminator has, at its core, the story of Kyle Reese’s deep devotion to Sarah Connor. And while most people quote “I’ll be back,” it’s “I came across time for you,” and “we loved a lifetime’s worth” that I remember more clearly. Battle-weary Kyle losing his virginity to Sarah in a few stolen hours of happiness is achingly gorgeous, and the visual of their clasped hands during the act is, to me, the sharpest image from the film.

Han Solo and Princess Leia’s kiss aboard the Millenium Falcon in 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back is famous, but it’s later, in Bespin, that their romance reaches its peak: when their gazes lock just before Han is dropped into carbonite and Leia finally admits she loves him…and he offers up, “I know,” with the last of his cocky bravado. The princess and the smuggler, the most improbable of partners and the most inopportune time for a confession of love, and yet one of the most resonant scenes in the entire trilogy.

Resonant in an altogether different way is how Baby seduces Johnny in 1987’s Dirty Dancing, invading his room with her potent combination of privilege and innocence, asking him to dance with her. Solomon Burke’s “Cry To Me” is one of the sexiest songs on the planet because of them, and I was one of millions of women who fell in love with the late Patrick Swayze all because of Johnny Castle’s confident moves  on the dance floor and his vulnerability everywhere else.

What’s the unifying factor in all the examples I’ve brought up? Certainly not a crisp script. Most of these scenes didn’t involve much dialogue and what dialogue there was…wasn’t exactly Shakespearean in nature. The key to romance isn’t pretty words or even good direction and the right music, it’s people whose connection is just that believable. It takes a solid story, fleshed out characters, actors who embody those roles… and just a touch of magic.

And then, if you’re lucky…? Kuch kuch hota hai. Something happens.

Sometimes, when a book or a move are overhyped, I brace for impact, expecting my experience with it to be a letdown. Thankfully, this was not the case with Melina Marchetta’s critically acclaimed Jellicoe Road, which was released in 2006 in Australia and then in 2008 here in the States —interestingly enough, the Australian release is called On The Jellicoe Road, and I have no idea why they dropped the preposition. The book is at points both stark and dream-like, and Marchetta does a wonderful job of balancing wistful, almost ethereal, instances of then with sturdier, wry instances of now. And she also pulls no punches with the issues of violence, death and abuse.

Taylor Markham has lived at the Jellicoe School ever since her junkie mother dumped her off at a 7/11 and left her to be cared for by the mysterious Hannah, who has a house near the school’s property. Every year, the kids from the Jellicoe School fight a war for territory with the Townies and the Cadets who camp nearby for a term. When it comes Taylor’s turn to lead, stories that hold the key to her past follow. Tough to the point of almost reveling in her solitude, Taylor’s journey on the Jellicoe Road opens her up to surprising friendships, a romance and learning what family means to her.

It’s hard to talk about the book without giving too much away, because part of the joy of reading it was making each connection and having an “ah-ha!” moment. And I want to go back and reread it over and over to catch the things I didn’t grab the first time around. In fact, while reading I kept flipping back to check things. It’s a book that made me laugh, that made my throat tighten up, and also really engaged my brain. 

This copy has to go back to the library, but I’m definitely buying my own as soon as possible, so that I may travel down the Jellicoe Road with Marchetta’s memorable characters and engaging story over and over again.

It’s been a while since I gushed about One Life to Live, so I figure there’s no harm in dusting off my pom-poms today. Catching up on the Oct. 20 episode (Hi, Kevin! Nice to see you!) hammered in for me again how well OLTL has done with integrating its cast and treating everyone like normal people. (Minorities are normal; yes, I know it’s shocking.) Sure, there’s a bit of a bubble, but it feels organic. Of course Rachel and the Evanses are going to be clustered around Shaun’s hospital room. It’s not just trotting out the black characters for the sake of token diversity…like the complete waste of Tamara Tunie when As the World Turns brought back Jessica for one episode last week. Not only was it the first time in a long time that we saw Chauntee Schuler’s Bonnie, but the whole set-up was ridiculous. Jessica flew in to tell Bonnie what most people already know: that Dusty is a commitmentphobe who’s Just Not That Into Her. Then, that was it. Bonnie went back to the backburner (maybe she’s hanging out with Jade, Dallas and Derek?), Jessica flew off for parts unknown and ATWT had done its good diversity deed for the quarter. How do you bring Jessica back and not have her in scenes with the rest of Oakdale? How do you actually write a solid  script that references Bonnie’s troubled relationship with her own daughter knowing that you’re not going to address it again for another four months, if you remember to do so at all?

And lest it look like I’m just calling out ATWT, don’t think I didn’t notice that Colleen’s newish Jewish (that rhymed!) heritage was left out of her death arc on Y&R. I know that Judaism is considered matrilineal, but still…where was Grandma Kaplan? Why were we hearing about a generic angel that Brad had given Colleen instead of a Star of David or a hamsa hand? It’s bad enough to erase Brad and Colleen from the canvas, but to scrub away their cultural background… it’s wrong. There is enough of that kind of behavior in the real world, taking away our voices, our identities. 

Maybe some soaps haven’t gotten this memo, but characters of color, religious minorities, and sexual minorities can sustain ongoing stories. We’re pretty good at doing it every day in our real lives. And that’s why I appreciate OLTL, which has the Evans family dealing with a soapy love triangle between brothers and the same woman, and Destiny’s crush on Matthew. Then there’s Markko and Langston, who are just teens being teens. Téa and Carlotta caught up this week. Cristian and Layla shared a sexy, dulce de leche-laced kiss…that was fraught with issues because of Cris’ history with Evangeline. And Fish got put on leave pending investigation by Internal Affairs…while Nick proposed to Kyle to help further Dorian and Amelia’s gay marriage initiative. None of this stuff is hit-and-run. It’s not just to go, “Hey, look, we remembered we have non-whites on our show! Give us a prize!” 

And that is a reward for viewers.

We Love Soaps‘ Roger and Damon kicked off their premiere episode of WLS TV this week, and I got to be a part of it! Check it out! We dish the treatment of women in daytime (specifically GH and ATWT), the exit of Y&R’s Eric Braeden (Victor), and Dorian’s big, gay wedding on OLTL. Additionally, Damon and Roger do a hilarious “Soaps on the Street” segment with the denizens of Times Square, visit with Martha Byrne and company on the set of Gotham and chat with GL’s Karla Mosley (ex-Christina) and Lawrence Saint-Victor (ex-Remy) about their new web series, Wed-Locked.