03.31.09
Romance: doing it by halves.
No, this has nothing to do with my personal quest to find a soulmate via the IntarWebz or some other means, but is rather a post about romance novels set in India. I really have no general preference when it comes to my romance protagonists. I’ll read just about anything, white man/white woman, interracial, etc. But when it comes to historicals set in India –or even some contemporaries featuring characters of Indian descent– I just can’t seem to find what I’m looking for. Because romance authors seem to like “doing it by halves.” You will never, ever find a full-blood Indian character in a romance novel. Much in the way of sheiks being blue-eyed, blond and seldom actually Muslim, Indian male heroes in novels like Meredith Duran’s Duke of Shadows or Barbara Dawson Smith’s Fire on the Wind are just brown enough to be exotic and just English enough to be acceptable. They’re half or one quarter or one eighth. They can speak Hindi and wear a dhoti but do the waltz and enter any gentleman’s club in London. While Indian heroines, of course, don’t even exist. Heaven forbid a romance reader want to step into those particular chappals, hmm? It’s just enough to put on a sari or wrap a dupatta in fair hair and play pretend.
It honestly comes off as such a fetish, the Not Quite Indian. Men who are exotic but somehow accessible. They’ll carry the blushing, milk-pale English maiden off for some kind of adventure but ultimately be folded in to some sort of acceptable social arrangement.
And then there’s Max Bhagat, from Suzanne Brockmann’s Troubleshooters series. Since it’s a contemporary setting, there’s no carrying off and adventuring and ravishing, but there’s also nothing of his Indian-ness. Barely anything of his background at all. He’s ethnic in name and skin tone only — both of which are watered down through a few generations. Again, heaven forbid he actually be fully Indian. (Of course, this could just be attributed to Brockmann’s inconsistency with fleshing out her characters rather than any glossing over of his heritage or laziness about researching it.)
I’ve read a few books with completely Indian characters, like The Golden Fire by Jonathan Fast, but that’s considered a mainstream historical novel and not a romance. And then, of course, there’s emerging South Asian “Chick Lit,” which I’m hesitant to read lest it unconsciously influence my own writing.
You’ve got to love that ethnicity is “sexy” enough to warrant inclusion in romance novels and yet not legitimate enough to warrant being handled to its full and logical extent.
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
I’m not normally an alarmist — at least not lately since I’m trying to cultivate a sense of zen like Charlie Crews from LIFE — but WHAT is going on with the rumors of GUIDING LIGHT being canceled this fall? Say it ain’t so! I know things are tough all over, but how is jettisoning a show that pulled itself up by its bootstraps and reinvented itself so completely a GOOD thing for CBS and Procter & Gamble?
It’s not! GL is the epitome of the rags-to-riches success story right now. They moved themselves lock, stock and barrel to Peapack, NJ and made it work, even while people were scoffing at the new model. They pared down to the bare minimum and kept on trucking. Then, after fixing their outsides, they went to work on their insides. And despite being low in the Nielsen ratings, people are tuning in. The stories are better than they’ve been in years, the actors are at the top of their game and even mainstream press is talking about the show. Not to discount soap press because, hey, we love us some GL and have loved it all along. I even raved about it here in my blog on Feb 17.
Heck, just from a selfish standpoint, I do not want this show canceled because I want to know what happens to Olivia and Natalia after Jessica Leccia’s inevitable maternity leave. Do the math, people: That means the show has to last longer than September!
And if GL, a show that’s actually brilliant right now, gets taken off the air, what does that say for the sustainability of shows that are floundering in quality? We’ve got to hold on to the soaps we have until someone more brilliant than I figures out how to revitalize the genre as a whole and keep it going through the 21st century.
So write to CBS. Write to sponsors. Buy Swiffer and Pampers. Tell your friends who have Nielsen boxes to keep the TV tuned to GL even if they aren’t watching. Fight dirty if you have to, and then let Mr. Clean take care of the mess.
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
03.20.09
With one flat foot on the devil’s wing…
My head throbs from a caffeine hangover and my veins feel sluggish, like I’ve been dosed with morphine. Snow falls on New York on the second day of spring, and I realize, belatedly, that Living Dead Girl, by Elizabeth Scott, is the absolute wrong book to read on the subway in the mornings. It’s not an energizing choice, an uplifting choice. It makes you want to end the day instead of begin it. The young adult author has written a decidedly not young adult novella that makes me want to use buzz words like “stark” and “spare” and “gut-wrenching,” and then makes me not want to use any words at all because I’m too busy hunching over, cradling my midsection, and trying to un-see the picture Scott has painted with such precise, black, white, and red strokes of her pen. That’s why it’s safer to tilt my head back and watch the big, fat snowflakes, I suppose.
Living Dead Girl, which will forever now color the Rob Zombie song of the same name, is about a young woman named Alice, whose rabbit hole takes her anywhere but Wonderland. Scott doesn’t flinch from a tale of systematic, prolonged abuse, doesn’t spare the reader one bit, because Alice’s captor Ray doesn’t spare her. The character is beaten down, broken, molded into the shape this predator wants her to be in, and her desperation is raw and ugly. It’s a short book, what should be a quick read, but it feels without end. I can’t remember the last time I read a book like this, and I don’t know that I would want to read another of its ilk. It’s just too hard.
That said, I really think this work of Scott’s should join the annals of so many young adult books before it that will never be forgotten. Her previous novels, like her debut Bloom, have been wonderful, but this one… this one is a watershed.
I can’t help but think of another work of young adult fiction, one that’s considered a “classic” because of it’s handling of dark issues: Go Ask Alice. But only because of the name. Because in asking Scott’s Alice, the reader receives answers that nobody wants to believe could possibly be true. Too bad they are. Too bad children suffer what this character suffers every single day, and shutting the book, tucking it back into my purse and getting off the train, doesn’t end their story.
03.18.09
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
First things first, stay tuned to the BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL section of our site for the write-up of my first visit to the show’s set in sunny California! Second things second, I now have the task of catching up on all the soapiness I missed, and that’s quite the chore … unless we’re talking about yesterday’s GENERAL HOSPITAL. Okay, just a specific portion of yesterday’s GENERAL HOSPITAL: Johnny and Maxie. Yes, I know this snappy banter and stolen kiss thing they’ve got going on makes them faithless cheaters and it’s despicable to betray their respective partners in such a way, etc. But you know what? There is precious little to get excited over on GH these days, and I’m going to cling to whatever squee-inducing thing I can, no matter how faithless and cheating it may be. Desperate times call for desperate measures, folks. This beggar cannot and will not be a chooser.
I know I waxed poetic about JoMax in my February 4 entry, but I can’t remember the last time a couple or non-couple on GH got me this interested. I liked Lucky and Sam, but I wasn’t actively rooting for them; I just wanted them to spend a lot of time in the hot tub and hanging out with Lucky’s kids looking adorable together. But with Johnny and Maxie, it really hits one of my soap hot buttons. I’m such a sucker for the people-who-barely-like-each-other-become-lovers trope. I loved it with early Zach and Kendall on AMC; I’ve loved it with GL’s Olivia and Natalia — and the slow burning duo haven’t even gotten to the ‘lovers’ part yet. So, I guess it was inevitable that when GH started playing that angle with Johnny and Maxie I would fall for it, too. They just sparkle. (I know, it’s a silly word and it reminds me of those vampires from TWILIGHT, but it’s apt!) The actors are obviously having a good time and it’s that wonderful, banter-y tease that so few relationships get anymore.
The rational part of me knows that Maxie and Johnny will only continue to be in each other’s orbit just long enough for the show to figure out what they’re doing with Lulu and Ethan and Spinelli and Winnifred. But I’m going full-tilt anyway, much like I did back when Carly and Jax were opening Club 101 together circa 2001-2002. Did Carly and Jax get together then? No. But they’re together now! (Well, sort of. But let’s save that for another post.) So, hey, if they don’t get rid of Brandon Barash just because Ethan, nuMichael, and Dante are on deck — much like they jettisoned Jason Gerhardt’s Coop and Josh Duhon’s Logan to make room for Johnny — then this couple could have a legitimate shot sometime in the future.
But what about “Spixie,” you may ask?
Well, if Spinelli and Maxie are supposed to be some grand love story, her telling him she’ll sleep with Johnny if he’s not there to be with her is a classic case of “UR DOIN IT RONG.” That is not something an “I love you” should go with…unless you’re talking to your best friend whom you really have no romantic feelings for. Plus, if Spinelli and Maxie are really the root-for couple, why is GH writing and directing scenes like this….?
Maxie: What did you like about me today?
Johnny: You don’t want to do this.
Maxie: Yes, I do. Okay, I’ll start. Of course I noticed your ass, and you’re really hot. Now it’s your turn.
Johnny: You’re beautiful, Maxie, okay? But that is not why I want to kiss you.
Maxie: Really? Why?
Johnny: Because you’re you.
Maxie: Aw, damn it. :::pounce, kiss:::
Wait, what was that question again? “Why is GH writing and directing scenes like this?” I think I have the answer: To torment me! LOL! It’s because I love NIGHT SHIFT more, isn’t it?
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
03.10.09
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
Have you ever stopped to think how odd it sometimes is to watch soaps for a living? For one thing, I can’t get into an elevator without thinking it’s going to stall and someone’s going to go into labor. (And one of our elevators here actually does hiccup; it freaks me out every time!) But then, consider the love scenes! You know how people on the ‘Net warn if a link or a photo is “NSFW” (Not Safe For Work)? I mean, many soap love scenes aren’t exactly SFW, are they? Even when you work at a soap magazine! LOL!
Yesterday morning (we just “sprang forward,” so 12:30 IS still morning for me), I was having a quick bite at my desk while watching YOUNG AND RESTLESS when Nick and Phyllis got all hot and lathered up in the shower — complete with slamming against flat surfaces. ACK! MUST we have all that wet flesh flailing about? Give a gal a “Caution: May Require the Heimlich” warning!
And putting aside the fact that I almost choked on my sandwich, there are just some things that are mighty awkward to watch in an office setting. There are people in other offices and cubicles nearby. It’s broad daylight, I have ridiculously bright fluorescent lights in my office, and anybody could walk by and hear the porntastic sax music and see the characters getting groin-y on my TV screen. Like, people from other magazines and the mailroom guys and bigwigs from corporate headquarters. You gotta admit that would be more than a little awkward. “No, no, I swear, this is all for work!” “Suuuuuure.”
As such, here’s a bit of wishful thinking on my part…
Mala’s Five Rules for Soap Love Scenes
1. When in doubt, go with the Fade to Black; it never goes out of style.
2. Please, for the love of Pete, do not flash anyone’s bare thigh. In fact, consider anything below the chest and above the knee verboten!
3. When kissing, please refrain from the Aliens face-hugger technique.
4. Once in bed, limit things to generic rolling around. Hip thrusts are a bit much in the afternoon.
5. No ‘O’ Faces. No. No. No.
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
03.05.09
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
So, I was formatting the list of this year’s Daytime Emmy pre-noms for the issue we’re working on this week, and just marveling at how weird the pre-nom and nomination process is. I’ll be honest, there are years where I look at the list and just go, “What? Huh? I don’t get it!” I don’t know if it’s equal parts popularity contest and political maneuvering or what, but sometimes the Emmy process just doesn’t make sense to me!
For instance, while GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Sarah Brown has been a lead actress in the past, Claudia was a supporting character last year. Alicia Minshew (Kendall) has been a lead actress on ALL MY CHILDREN for ages now. So why is she always in Supporting Actress? Especially when Thorsten Kaye (Zach) is in Lead. The same goes for GUIDING LIGHT: Why is Daniel Cosgrove (Bill) in Lead and Marcy Rylan (Lizzie) in Supporting? They drove the same exact story last year and had pretty much equal airtime. And if the philosophy there is that Minshew and Rylan have a better shot of winning in Supporting because they can’t hold their own against the Jeanne Coopers (Katherine, Y&R) of the world while Kaye and Cosgrove can go toe-to-toe with Anthony Geary (Luke, GH)…well, that’s pretty gender biased and insulting, don’t you think?
Do shows consider who can “beat” a nominee from another network? Do they have a cage match backstage to figure out who goes where? A double elimination pool? “Whoever draws the short straw ends up in Younger Actor.” “But, dude, I’m almost 26!” Ooh! I know! They play Rock, Paper, Scissors, don’t they?
That’s not to say I’m not happy about the way many of the pre-noms panned out. Because I am indeed pleased that Rylan got a spot on the roster no matter what category she’s in and I’m happy for the whole gang from AS THE WORLD TURNS, as well as the people THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL put up. Yes, those are the two shows I cover. LOL. Speaking of biases, I bet none of you are surprised that I’m happy DAYS OF OUR LIVES’s Jay Kenneth Johnson (Philip) is on the pre-nom list. (“Why, yes, Mala, considering you’re so SHY about Philip being a favorite…” LOL.) I’ve already confessed my abiding love for Ridge in a 2008 blog entry, so it also shouldn’t be a shock that I’m rooting for B&B’s Ronn Moss! He might have a good shot if he submits his work from Phoebe’s death and an episode like the one where Ridge gave Nick Hell for doing Bridget wrong.
Of course, there are a few omissions that caught my eye, though it’s not as bad as years past. Maybe it’s just because I’m on soap overload and desensitized to who did what in 2008, but I don’t have a huge sense of “OMG! So-and-so WUZ ROBBED!” Still, Y&R’s Sharon Case (Sharon), Melody Thomas Scott (Nikki) and Elizabeth Hendrickson (Chloe) are missing? Say, what? (I’m not going to launch into a boo-hoo about Billy Miller, because this year’s work should earn him a lock for next year’s pre-noms!) And ATWT’s Jon Hensley (Holden) and Austin Peck (Brad) had incredibly solid years. Plus, there’s Roger Howarth, who gives 120 percent even when Paul is riding the Crazy Train to Over-the-top-ville. And where’s GH’s Sebastian Roche (ex-Jerry)? Or Jason Thompson (Patrick)? He did beautiful work during the course of Robin’s pregnancy and Emma’s birth and is truly emerging as one of the most solid, dependable actors on that show. And, of course, his acting partner Kimberly McCullough (Robin) should be on the list, too. And it goes without saying that I believe that they both deserve to be honored for their work on NIGHT SHIFT, as does head writer Sri Rao.
But, really, congratulations to everyone who scored a pre-nom and good luck making it to the nomination round!
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
03.04.09
Please, Sur, can I have some more?
I think I have an unhealthy addiction to the empanadas at Sur. Located at 45-57 47th St. in Woodside, I have the fortune/misfortune of passing Sur on the way back from work every day. You’d think I’d learn my lesson and take another route if my problem is so bad, hmm? Ah, well.
So, I stop in there once a week, if not twice, for their highly addictive butternut squash soup (they ran out tonight! woe!) and 2-3 empanadas. I’ve tried all but five of their regular varieties — one of which I’ll never try because I’m allergic to crab. I think my favorites so far are probably the chorizo, salteña, and ham & cheese.
I need an intervention.
