05.30.08
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
This past Tuesday, I was lucky enough to jaunt down to AS THE WORLD TURNS’ studio to interview Cyndi Lauper and watch her film scenes (and songs!) that will air in July. Cyndi. Lauper. I can’t even tell you the surreal awesomeness of that. In fact, I still haven’t even processed that I actually MET a music icon. (But I sort of attribute that to the fact that David Cook is the only musician on my radar right now. I have more Cookie songs on the iPod than Cyndi ones. LOL.) Not only did I, along with other reporters, get to meet her, but we sat in the Snyder kitchen while doing it … and that was completely hilarious, too, because I was like, “Oh, look, that’s the counter where Lily hid Dusty’s gun, and the cabinet where Holden stuffed the syringe, and….” Why, yes, I’m a complete dork — and my chair was right in front of the shelf where Lily stuffed her Dusty mementoes. Cyndi Lauper and the Snyder kitchen … It’s a definite combination for squee.
Oh, yeah, two guys named Van Hansis (Luke) and Jake Silbermann (Noah) were there, too. 
. Besides Cyndi singing, my favorite part of the afternoon was watching them go from clowning around and being themselves to “turning into” Luke and Noah. You can actually see it the minute the cameras roll, like they’re mutants channeling their superpowers, because they seem to automatically get younger and their eyes get all googly. I’m talking full-on emo puppy dog eyes. They did it for every take! So, I laughed into my hands during every take! Plus, I hope an especially charming little moment with Cyndi and Jake doesn’t hit the cutting room floor. It gave a few of us standing off-set quite a chuckle.
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
05.23.08
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
While between DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Lucas coming home and catching EJ and Sami in the sack and Jesse and Angie’s wedding on ALL MY CHILDREN, it has been a pretty entertaining soap week, I think it’s safe to say that the biggest drama was on prime time: that’s right, AMERICAN IDOL! Much like the other 90+ million voters in the country, my eyes were fixed to FOX and the double whammy of the AI finale and results shows. Move over Y&R’s David Chow and OLTL’s David Vickers, it was all about David Cook and David Archuleta. I rocked out to ZZ Top and George Michael and was part of the collective breath held when Ryan Seacrest opened that shiny gold envelope. So, if you think I love GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Sebastian Roché, mutiply that by a hundred and you’ll get the level of my admiration for David Cook right now.
I don’t know how this season of IDOL got me so suckered in. I haven’t really paid attention to the show since Chris Daughtry got robbed in season five. But this year, you’d think it was the GH Metro Court crisis and Rose’s death on ATWT rolled into one! In fact, I’m pretty sure that the reason my colleague Joe Diliberto started talking about IDOL in his NIGHT SHIFT blog is because I wouldn’t shut up about it. I knew I was in trouble when I started calling the clear Top 2 “Cookie” and “Archie.” I turned into the walking AI watercooler. I even voted.
It should be no surprise that when it time came to sign up for the post-finale conference call with the Davids for a story in our prime time section, I steamrolled everybody else in our editorial department and called dibs. Okay, so there were really only two other people who would have done it, but don’t think I can’t take ‘em down! So, anyway, I actually dialed in a full 10 minutes early just to be guaranteed a spot in the question line. You know that, by now, both Davids have been asked everything under the sun. I can’t even imagine what their press junket has been like. Cook, a self-proclaimed “word nerd,” was funny and articulate and confessed that he actually did get some sleep last night. (Is anybody else relieved about that?) I was lucky enough to get called on for a question and while my inner Mala was all “SQUEE!” the outer Mala was thoroughly professional and asked some fairly intelligent stuff about Cookmania on the Internet and the popularity of his cover songs. I didn’t get to ask “Little David” Archuleta anything. But he is such a sweetie pie that it’s no wonder tweens and grandmothers alike are swooning over him. He sounded exhausted and like he’s still suffering from the icky throat thing that almost took him down Tuesday night. It kind of made me wish I could sit the kid down and feed him soup.
Both fortunately and unfortunately, though, neither of these guys is going to be sitting down anytime soon.
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
05.16.08
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
I knew it was just a matter of time, but I’m in a lather about soap diversity again. And, no, it’s not about AS THE WORLD TURNS. Guess who gets to board the failboat this week? THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL! It’s uncharacteristic enough that B&B’s Los Angeles is the whitest white that ever whited (and the straightest straight that ever straighted despite focusing on fashion design) but then, this week, the show introduced a new character of color. Cause for celebration, right? Oh, no, my friends…oh.no.
Marcus the Mystery Guy had the misfortune of arriving at Chez Forrester the day of Storm’s memorial service, and upon spying the strapping young black man, Eric and Donna did what anybody would do and… assumed he was on the catering staff. ::head-desk:: Yeah. I have no words. Okay, I have words but none of them are fit for print. I suppose we should be lucky that they didn’t think he was going to try and rob the mansion in broad daylight or press some money into his hands after assuming he was homeless.
I get that the Forresters are flush, but being rich and privileged doesn’t mean you have to be written as so clueless and arrogant that a black man arriving on your doorstep means he’s a waiter. Even more cringeworthy than the initial introduction was the fact that, then, all throughout Storm’s service, viewers had to watch Marcus circulate with a serving tray. Ridge and Eric complained snootily about Storm not really deserving the send-off and they barely gave him a second glance. 145 years since the Emancipation Proclamation still isn’t long enough for that image to be remotely okay.
I didn’t think using such blatantly offensive stereotypes on daytime television was still acceptable in 2008, but it’s becoming more and more clear that I’m terribly naïve about that sort of thing. As an educated woman of color with friends from all kinds of diverse backgrounds, I assume that most people have basic common sense about racial issues. Watching ATWT, watching B&B this week, it’s clear that’s not the case. What were they thinking? “Ha-ha, LOL, wouldn’t it be funny…?” Well, it’s not. This is Donna’s son, and if they had cast a white actor, I seriously doubt that they would have used the catering staff conceit.
More and more, I feel like this is a reflection of why daytime as a whole is suffering, of why the genre may not last another decade. There are just not enough writers and showrunners using their heads and writing for their whole audience. We need more minority writers, more minority actors, and more people behind the scenes in general who get that writing for characters of color doesn’t have to be as complicated as brain surgery — or as cheap as a minstrel show. Come on, people… Just think. Is that too much to ask? If y’all need help, I’d be happy to come in and do a little seminar on Diversity 101. Yes, you could tell me that other shows are still getting it right, that no one in Pine Valley would dare mistake Jesse Hubbard for a bus boy, but ALL MY CHILDREN had to bring Jesse back from the DEAD just to give black characters a story. We’re talking about a show that vanished Jackson’s black son to the ether.
Bet it’s only a matter of time before Donna’s does the same disappearing act.
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
05.15.08
Writing the Great Desi-American novel.
So, this blog suffers from a bit of a personality disorder. I don’t know what to use it for: to write about restaurants I’ve been to, issues that interest me, books I’ve read… let’s face it, I’m all over the place. But what it boils down to is that I’m here to write, and my greatest ongoing struggle as a writer is that of the Great Desi-American Novel that I’ve been plugging away at for two years.
Call it “chick lit,” call it “women’s fiction,” either way, the genre brings to mind those breezy covers with some svelte headless girl holding a purse and showing off high heels. Would you believe it’s intimidating as Hell? I’ve been writing fiction since I was very young, but the task of writing a full-length novel that’s publication-ready is daunting. 25,000 words seems to be my brick wall. I constantly hit that place and stumble back, unsure of where to take the characters, wondering if the scenes I’m adding just to up the page count are extraneous.
Not to mention the fact that there IS a cache of fiction about the Indian-American experience emerging… and the idea of having to compete with the Jhumpa Lahiris of the world or trying to be the next Monica Pradhan or Anjali Banerjee…that’s pretty daunting as well. What if it’s already been written before? What if they did it better? What if? What if? What if?
Sure, every author’s experience is different, and that shapes a character’s voice differently. My New York isn’t the upper class, glittering city coveted by Sex and the City fans. It’s more mundane…yet with bits of magic here and there. Thus, the world my characters live in mirrors that. But does anyone want to read about some girl living a relatively normal life? Does anyone want to publish a book where someone falls for a bartender and not Big?
Obsessing about details like that definitely gets in the way of actually writing. I get so caught up in the questions and the doubts that returning to the Word .doc and actually playing out the story becomes the last priority…and that’s a shame, because you kinda need a finished product, otherwise you’re putting the cart before the horse when you ruminate about who’s going to read it.
I’m my own worst enemy that way. I trip myself up. I’m a bigger brick wall than the elusive word count…so how do I scale the barrier?
05.09.08
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
Back in the day, I was a pro at staying home from school “sick” or cutting 6th or 7th period due to a sudden plague just to get home in time to watch my soaps. The last months of Stone’s life on GENERAL HOSPITAL were probably the sole cause of my giant case of senioritis in 1995! But like many weary soap fans these days, I feel like there’s a dearth of good, school-skipping moments. Let’s face it, the writers’ strike sucked a lot of life and momentum out of our shows. Not to mention the fact that a lot of fan faves have been killed off and the death toll for beloved couples is pretty high, too. Fear not, though! I have given this at least ten minutes of thought, and here are 10 moments in 2008 that I would cut school for. (Yes, I know I’m employed at a soap magazine and have a TV in my office. Work with me here.)
(They’re not in order of importance, I promise.)
1. Jesse’s return from the dead and his reunion with Angie on ALL MY CHILDREN. When they saw each other again at the train station it gave me chills.
2. Grayson McCouch’s last week as Dusty on AS THE WORLD TURNS, (RIP, Dusty. RIP.) and Martha Byrne’s last day as Lily. Those just aren’t days you miss.
3. The day GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Carly dredged up all her history with Sonny, blaming herself and him for Michael’s shooting. Kudos to the writers and Laura Wright.
4. Snoop Dogg performing on ONE LIFE TO LIVE. Need I even explain that one? Snoop is off the hook!
5. Jonathan and Sarah returning to GUIDING LIGHT and that whole awesome, tangled story with Bill and Lizzie.
6. YOUNG AND RESTLESS’ Cane and Lily making love on Valentine’s Day. It was adorable.
7. The hilarious sequence with Donna as a jungle cat on the prowl for a snoozing Eric on THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL. Meow!
8. Any episode of DAYS OF OUR LIVES where Philip had something to do. (What was that, five episodes this year?)
9. Sarah Brown’s first full episode back at GH. (Cutting English or math for shots of her shoes would just be lame.)
10. Brad and Katie’s wedding on ATWT. Henry is always a good reason to play hooky.
11. As a bonus, I would have scored a detention or taken up an after-school activity just to miss the gut-wrenchingly awful death of Gus on GL.
So tell me…what soap moment this year would YOU cut school for? Leave it in a comment here or go visit our forums and post about it!
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
05.04.08
The Australian: Tie me kangaroo down, sport!
Checked out The Australian on 38th St. between 5th and 6th, for dinner last night, after catching some reviews on Menupages and being intrigued by some of their entrees. There wasn’t much of a crowd for a Saturday, and we didn’t leave till well after 8 p.m. It’s a damn shame, because it’s a beautiful space. I’m sure Happy Hour is much more crowded. Tables in the front, lots of elbow room at the bar, and booths in the back, as well as seating space upstairs that we didn’t get to see. Perfect lighting — you can actually see your dinner companion — and a really, really, good-looking staff. (What? It’s relevant to the experience!)
I had a glass of their Wine of the Month, a grenache-shiraz, while I waited for T. to arrive, and I liked it, though it wasn’t as flavorful to me as the Paringa shiraz I had at home a few weeks back. I wish I could remember the winery, but, hey, I’m not a foodie. I just like to drink and eat and experiment. As evidenced by the fact that we, very daringly, ordered the Kangaroo Sate appetizer. Kangaroo is a darker meat; it reminded me visually of beef or lamb on a skewer, but more tender. The Australian only gives you two skewers of the sate (one a piece for us!), but they compensate with their delicious potato wedges, accented with a delicious curry sauce, and some salad.
I ordered the breaded lamb cutlets for dinner, while T. had the roast lamb sandwich. Judging by the half she left on her plate and the nearly untouched steak fries (not as good as the wedges), I’m not sure she enjoyed her choice. I, however, demolished my lamb cutlets. They’re beaten very thin, along the bone, served with a tomato chutney and mashed potatoes with onion gravy. The whole thing was lick-the-bowl good, but I had to leave some of the carbs and chutney behind. We then lingered and split a treacle pudding with vanilla custard…which was too sweet. We couldn’t finish it, lest our teeth fall out of our heads.
I definitely want to go back and try a few other dishes, and just try out more Aussie food in general. I know there’s Bondi Road (153 Rivington St. bet. Suffolk and Clinton) and The Sunburnt Cow (137 Avenue C, bet. 8th & 9th). I’d be willing to try the fish at Bondi Road and the infamous brunch at The Sunburnt Cow, but other than that, their menus don’t seem that much different from American places in the same vein. Eight Mile Creek at 240 Mulberry St., looks intriguing, though.
05.02.08
Soap Opera Weekly: Blogging With Mala
So, I have crazy, depressing moral issues about THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL’s Storm shooting himself and Katie getting his heart. But rather than frothing at the mouth about that (it’s kind of like getting me on the subject of ATWT’s Ameera), I’d like to touch upon LESS froth-inducing issues.
To set the scene, here’s an excerpt from an e-mail exchange with my colleague Joe Dilberto from a few weeks back:
Me: OMG. B&B’s Thorne just leaned his head against Felicia’s They’resoinlove.
Joe: Who are the steamier siblings: Thorne/Felicia or GH’s Johnny/Claudia?
Me: I think Johnny and Claudia simply by virtue of the fact that more airtime is spent on them touching inappropriately.
I’m serious, folks, what is up with the Zaccharas? Maybe it’s just me, coming from a not-so touchy-feely family, but are they all up on each other or what? Personal bubble, people! Personal bubble! This week, when they reunited on the docks after Claudia was playing Little House in the Big Woods with Jason, it was practically like John and Marlena reuniting on the docks on DAYS. So much passion! So much emotion! But yet so much ICK. I was seriously waiting for them to make out. Mark Teschner, casting director at GH, is probably torn between patting himself on the back and kicking himself, because Brandon Barash (Johnny) and Sarah Brown (Claudia) are so electric together.
Or you could just accuse of me reading too much V.C. Andrews as a kid. You wouldn’t be wrong!
Now for e-mail exchange #2, from a few days ago:
Me: What kind of girl turns down ATWT’s Aaron Snyder? What is wrong with Sofie?
Joe: She has her sights set on her fath… I mean, Paul!
Me: You know, she sleeps with “Daddy” this week. Holy Elektra complex, Batman!
Joe: So then Paul has to gouge out his own eyes?
Me: Wasn’t that Oedipus? And better his than mine!
Joe: Tell me that the next time your contacts make you miserable! Wait, Paul sleeps with Meg and Sofie in the same week?
Me: No, he doesn’t have sex with Meg! He just stalks her to the Lakeview and goes all, “Elaaaaine, Elaaaaaine!” on her door like in THE GRADUATE.
Joe: Oh good. Because then Paul certainly would have gotten pregnant!
Me: And then before you know it, he’s fainting and falling down a flight of stairs.
Joe: Then cue the whole “Who’s the Mommy?” drama we’ve seen so many times…
I’m just sayin’. Why should PASSIONS have all the male pregnancy fun, right? It’s not as if Paul doesn’t already have the crazy mood swings and the swollen feet er, ego. Pregnancy is always, always used as a consequence of a woman having multiple partners on a soap but we never, ever see a man have any kind of repercussion for sleeping his way through half the town. (God forbid somebody actually get gonorrhea or herpes, right?) Moreover, guys being promiscuous, hard-drinking, train wrecks just seems to make them more attractive to soap women…and I just don’t get that. Case in point, not only did Sofie dump Aaron for Paul, but she went back to Paul after he practically shoved her, half-naked, off his couch, to go chase down Meg. She walked back into Fairwinds after hearing him flat out tell Meg that she was a mistake who meant nothing to him…and hit the couch with him again. OY. WTH, Sofie?
On second thought, Paul doesn’t need to have a baby, not when he reduces women around him to virtual two-year-olds. Next thing you know, Fairwinds will be a Daddy Day Care.
originally posted on soapoperaweekly.com
So much for my happy ending.
Anyone who has ever watched a soap opera for more than a few episodes knows that the genre thrives on romance, on love, on sex… and also knows that there is no such thing as a happily ever after. You can have the most beautifully told, drawn-out, love story of the last five years, but unless the characters are written off into the sunset, somebody will be presumed dead, someone will have an affair, there will be at least one miscarriage, and a supervillain will hold someone hostage. Soaps operate under the veil of “happy for now,” contending that a happy couple has no conflict and conflict drives story. Nobody wants to see George and Georgina skipping through a field holding hands. (Except the George and Georgina ’shippers, but that’s a whole different blog post.)
Books with a romantic throughline are a different story. It doesn’t matter if it’s romantic suspense, urban fantasy, or a good, old-fashioned Harlequin Presents, if it’s a single shot novel, the happily ever after is paramount. Guy must end up with girl (or guy, or guy AND girl, depending on what you’re reading); let the reader rejoice and throw confetti! The problem comes into play when you’re not working with a single shot romance, but a long-term series with multiple characters and overall arcs. It sounds like a soap opera, right? But where the resemblance between soaps and romance series’ ends is in an author’s insistence upon maintaining happiness at all costs. If George and Georgina got their HEA in their own book but continue to play key roles in books about Harry and Harriet, Patrick and Patricia, etc. they’re still going to be happy. Often nauseatingly so, and at the expense of who they were in their own arc. Cue the legion of curly-haired moppets and treacly dialogue and marital bliss, as they are held up as the poster children for true love, guiding their less fortunate friends.
Ew.
